GONE (PT 1)

SO, I'M GONE. OUT OF SF FOR A BIT SEEING THE COLD PARTS OF THIS TIRED COUNTRY. ME AND THE MRS. STARTED HALLOWEEN IN NY. MY ARROGANCE TOOK THE BETTER PART OF ME AND I THOUGHT I WOULDN'T SEE ANYTHING BEYOND WHAT I'VE EXPERIENCED AT HOME. . . AND I DIDN'T.
IT WAS A LOT OF FUN COZ EVERYONE WAS OUT (INCLUDING A CUTE TV PERSONALITY NAMED VINCENT D-SOMETHING FROM THE SHOW ABOUT A COURTROOM AND INVESTIGATIONS.((??????))) AND THE KIDS WERE ADORABLE, IT WAS LIKE A MOMMYCORE CONVENTION WHERE EVERYONE WAS IN A NEW YORKER COSTUME, TRULY INNOCENT. THIS ASPECT WAS THE ONLY SPECTACLE, OH AND THAT QUEEN WE MET AT MONSTER, SHE WAS TRAGIC.
THE NEXT MORNING WE GOT IN THE LATE 90'S FORD EXPLORER AND HEADED EAST. I WAS REALLY STONED AND THOUGHT JERSEY CITY LOOKED LIKE LEGOLAND. IT WAS REALLY SMALL LOOKING, VAST, BUT TINY.
THEN, AFTER FINISHING NEW JERSEY, WE GOT ON THE PA TURNPIKE. THIS WAS THE FIRST TURNPIKE I'VE EVER BEEN ON, WHICH SEEMS REALLY EXCITING, BUT IT'S JUST LIKE A FREEWAY. . .
I WAS CRUISING TRUCKERS PRETTY HARD COZ THE MRS. LIKES HER GUITAR SOLOS (HE'S A CHILD OF THE 80S) AND I ZONE OUT THROUGH THE WINDOW WHILE EDDIE VAN HALEN BORES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. THE TRUCKERS WERE INSPIRATIONAL, I STARTED WRITING A HORROR FILM ABOUT A BROTHER AND SISTER WHO BOTH HUSTLE AT TRUCK STOPS TRYING TO GET TO NY BY FUCKING HOT TRUCKERS AND A CRAZY KILLER GETS THE GIRL AND IT'S UP TO THE BROTHER TO SAVE HER. I JUST WANT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHILE THEY FILM THE SEX SCENES, AND THERE WILL BE A LOT OF THEM, THAT'S FOR SURE (BUBBLE GUM BUBBLE POPS).
AFTER PA, WE PASSED THROUGH A LITTLE PART OF W. VIRGINIA, A STATE THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE IN. IT WAS SCARY COZ I WAS STONED AND I THOUGHT A COP WOULD PULL US OVER AND MAKE THE MRS. GIVE HIM A BLOWJOB WHILE I WATCHED. . .AND MAKE ME MASTERBATE, TO BOOT. THIS WAS A DAYDREAM NIGHTMARE OF MINE.
WE GOT THROUGH UNSCATHED, IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY PRETTY.
THEN CAME OHIO. . .
AFTER OHIO WE GOT TO KENTUCKY, MY FUTURE HOME.